Blogging isn’t easy. Blogging consistently for 5 years is a feat of nature. Lately I’ve been silenced.
For most of the time, I’ve written fairly anonymously. I use my real first name, but I’ve given my children pseudonyms to protect them from some job interview, application or future situation in which they rather not have the story about the one time they shoved PBJs in my VCR or tried to flush hot wheels and Power Miners down the toilet while playing tsunami in the bathroom. (Ew. just ew.)
And writing behind that veil is pretty easy. But my professional careers are to the point that they require actual contracts, real contact information, and the veil of anonymity doesn’t cut it professionally.
And suddenly, the content of my blog feels heavy. I am much more cautious about what I may expose about my sons if it can be associated with their real identities. My archives have been stripped of certain posts. I spent days thinking about this, and even caught myself pacing in my kitchen about this decision. I have always been very forthcoming with our boys’ stories. There is a great need for parents to choose to be advocates for the causes near and dear to them. However, I strongly believe those stories can be told by my son when he is ready to share them, if he chooses to share them. And while I am willing to advocate for the causes near and dear to us, I will not do so at any expense for his future.
But I spent a good time in reflection about the audience I am losing. The moms who are aching, feel alone and isolated. I get several emails a year that spill out hauntingly beautiful, aching stories of love, loss, and miracles. Packing up those posts removes the stories that bring them to Life with my 3 Boybarians. I will miss those connections.
In the end, the mother-hen inside me – the one who loves her kids so fiercely she sometimes thinks her heart may burst – that mom had a decision to make. And I will always fight for the best end result for my boys, even if the pay off isn’t for years and years.
How do you protect the ones you love on your blog? Do you blog with a pseudonym? Do you use your child(ren)’s names? I’d love to hear what influences your decision and comfort level with your kids’ information online.